Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
