Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
