Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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