I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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