Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
