he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
