It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
