Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
