Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
