I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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