In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
