i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want to make out with him forever
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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