My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
