so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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