"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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