Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
