Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
