Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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