never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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