so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
