I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
