But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
