I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
