Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
