dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
