Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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