i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize