P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
