When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
