so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
