is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize