I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
