I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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