thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
