My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
