I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
