East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Fuck appropriateness.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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