You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
