I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
