were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How does it feel to date your dad?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
