have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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