theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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