hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
