How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
