I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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