If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
