Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
