Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
