dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
