They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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