god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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